You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
