Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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