Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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