Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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