After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
