I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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