I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Are my feet made of real feet?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
