I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
