I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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