How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
