just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
