he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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