Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Green mimosas i think yes
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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