I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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