HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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