you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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