haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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