my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
