She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
