and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i've created a new STD.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
