he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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