Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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