All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
