He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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