when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I love having hate sex.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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