i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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