If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
