someone threw a dead crab at me
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
