I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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