Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
