Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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