I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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