I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
