If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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