just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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