Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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