When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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