she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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