yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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