sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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