I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
