She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize