I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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