Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I need help removing her.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
My pussy is not your playground.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
