ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize