he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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