I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
