So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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