hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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