saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
