when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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