You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
