Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
