i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
