well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
