So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
