That's intense
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize