I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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