From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
