he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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